The Day you were born....

Jackson and Justin

The day you were all born......  we waited and waited for this day with anticipation, joy and pure excitement.  Maybe not the physical labor part so much for me, but the the reward at the end of the labor  was going to be these children.  I remember going to the hospital the second time to have Jordan  (yes the first time was a false alert and we classified it as the most expensive date ever.  All we ate was a granola bar and a juice while walking the halls at the hospital for about a grand!) And by the third labor you would think we would have known if this was really labor or not!  So the day she was really born, I can still remember as if it was yesterday, the moment I knew I was going to hold my little princess.  There was such an overwhelming sense of joy and happiness.  She was perfect and beautiful, just as we anticipated.  Each time I was blessed to hold my child immediately after giving birth and feed them from my breast.  But what happens when this perfectly thought out plan goes array.

 

                                  Justin (almost 4) admiring his baby sister Jordan (2 months)

Jackson (3) and Jordan (3 months)

As mother's day came this year, there was this grief in my heart for the women whose births did not go as they had intended or anticipated.  This child whom they grew in their womb, and cherished the day they would be born into their arms somehow went terribly wrong along the way.   Their hearts became broken into a million pieces as they placed their child on a street to be found and there became another broken heart--an orphan.  

Gate of the Guilin SWI

Each one of my children I have ached to hold in my arms for the very first time.  And the day they were born into our family-whether it was on day 1 or on day 2372 or somewhere in between was the most joyous day of my life.  They are my treasures.  

So how do we reconcile this in our hearts- we can't.  Jesus does.  He is the only one that restores, redeems and makes this possible.  Logically it is not fair I get to be the mother of all these precious children, because I happen to be born into an affluent country with a house, health care and a faithful husband with a steady income.  I believe their birth mothers love their children dearly and ache everyday wondering if their little one is safe or even survived.   But now Ryan and I have been given the opportunity to parent our children and will not ever forget the sacrifice of these influential women.  We will never have a picture of our adoptive children on their birth day or know the details of their story.   But we will tell our children, their China mama's chose to give them life, and oh how sweet the day you were all born.

                               

These two are like two peas in a pod. Perfect match with the activity level too! (Both taking breaks for oxygen)

Big sister is always making sure the fight is fair!

I have a feeling there is going to be a doctor in the house.  Happy/sad they know how to use all the medical instruments!

                       Don't let that smile fool you!  He is mischievous as they come!!!!!

This kid is one hard worker!  He loves to help and will not stop till the job is done.  We are resurfacing the deck because it was rotting and Nianjie is always there to help clean up the scrap pieces, pick up screws, whatever needs to be done.  He loves to take out trash, help in the garden, bring in groceries and even takes things out of the bag and helps put away.  He is a busy guy!  Always wants a task at hand to complete and if not he will create one-so keep him busy!

 My little princess is growing UP!  Jordan has been learning so much patience and kindness with the little ones.  She is such a helper and one day is going to be the most loving mother.  Her heart is huge!

There's that little guy again!  He has learned the delicate word NO in the last week.  Not loud or boisterous, just a sweet, little shake of the head no.  For example, time to go potty before we go, and then their is a sweet little voice who says no.  Really?!?!?  As if it was a multiple choice!  So I remember these are good signs that he is feeling comfortable to start the natural defiance that is called being a toddler, but it still causes us gray hair!   Oh Feng Yu!

So before the little boys came home we kept having these conversations with the kids about how we needed to set examples on how to act, clean up, table manners, etc so the new kiddos could learn from them.


How do you think we're doing???
Their big brothers were encouraging them and taking the pictures!

We'll just call it gym time! Or skydiving training!

Go Bucky!

Don't trust them---they are probably up to no good!  I bet something went off the deck--hopefully it was not the poor cat!

Yes we planted our garden with three helpers-two who spoke limited English.  And none of them wore shirts (????), but Nianjie wore his backpack for some reason this hot day!  We had quite a learning process.  It will be fun for them to see the plants grow.

One of their most fun activities is the trampoline.  This day Nianjie took the hose out and made it a water trampoline.  When they were done and having a Popsicle, Huahua was so happy she said "Mom this is so fun it's like a pool party at home on the deck!"

Huahua and Grandpa Oehlhof

All the kiddos and Grandma and Grandpa Oehlhof

A little sibling love and wrestling.  It is so neat to see the relationships build between the children at different levels.  There is never anyone saying they are bored at our house.  Little ones and big ones learning to love each other for who they are.  Do they fight? Yep all brothers and sisters do, but knowing how to forgive and move on is what matters.  

I LOVE THIS PICTURE!

These two are hard core bike riders now.  Nianjie has to have to face to match and the noise too!

                                                         Hot rods,...... Still working on our form.....

Medical updates:  Feng Yu will be going in June 1 for his Heart catheterization and we will learn more about his make up and what we can consider for options for him.  He will be in overnight as this procedure will take quite some time.  I can't remember if I included this before, but he does have complete situs inversus, where all his major internal organs are mirrored  This just adds a layer to the discussion and decision making for his medical team.  He does have his spleen!  A surgical plan will then be formed after this cath and consultation with other pediatric surgeons around the nation.  Please pray for Ryan, I and the medical team as we are led into this decision.  It will be life changing for this little man.  

Huahua is set for a heart procedure on June 8.  They will close her fenestration value that was put in during the fontan surgery last May. She has been shunting through this value too much causing her o2 to be too low.  (i.e. mixing blood).   We have not been able to keep her O2 up where it should be and she is becoming very fatigued.  She responded well while asleep with this testing last fall during a cath.  Pray she will respond as well once her body adjusts.  There are draw backs to this procedure but this is the only option left at this point to raise her o2 level.  Pray her liver not to be affected and internal pressures can handle the new pressures without this "pop off" value for back up relief.  We know she has a battle ahead to fight, but honestly I am not ready for that fight.  Selfishly, I want my baby forever...

Life with SIX- A Mother's Day reflection

Mother's Day Reflections.....today is the day we look to those who gave us life.  For three of my children, I will never know who that was.  So today I reflect on their birth mamas.  I will never know their faces, their names or the reason behind their decisions, but I hold them dear to my heart because they gave me their greatest gifts.  I will never truly know their pain or the aching in their hearts, I can only imagine the grief and pain they will feel as the days pass.  My greatest prayer for them is to know the little ones they so dearly cherished and gave life to are loved in a family.  I pray for them to know the Lord and Jesus as their Savior, for one day we may all celebrate these children lives together in heaven.

Being both an adoptive mother three children and a biological mother to 3 children I cannot imagine the sorrow carried in their heart for these children.  I know we have a long road to walk, and we have many hurdles both emotionally and physically to jump through, but I am so thankful that when the Lord asked Are you willing to follow me and care for these children?  Without a doubt I said  "Yes! Lord SEND ME!"  My reward--- they call Mommy and say I Lube you Mama!

Last weekend we took our first family camping trip to a motocross race for two nights!  We all had a great time.

 Wrestling with our brothers is a sideline activity to the races.........

When you have two sisters, you tend to have a lot of accessories.

 By the end of the weekend this guy mastered the hill on the bike.  He even had his little brother on the bike with him at one point.  Next time we will remember to bring the helmets!

This was her don't take my picture face.  I think it's still beautiful!

                       >>>>>>>>>>>TIME FOR A FAMILY PHOTO<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

 All right, let me explain.....Huahua wanted to paint the fingernails of everyone.  And the boys said...Ya ya ya!  So I said do it outside on the deck.  But who would have thought you would have to tell the little boy not to dump the bottle on his foot?

Yep.....he's that kind of child!  The one that makes your hair turn gray.  The things that you never thought they would do, or you would have to tell them not to do!  That's HIM!  

You would never guess it from that sweet little grin..........watch HIM!!!!

Medical Update:  Yes he has a spleen!  Praise God!  All organs are on the opposite side of the body.  Complete Situs Inversus!  Quite unique little man.  He has a heart catheterization set for June 1.

Don't you wish you were that flexible?  You would not need your glasses!  This princess is in need of some cardiac maintenance care.  Will be having a cardio appointment 5/20 and then catheterization soon as well. The hospital suggested we do Huahua's and Feng Yu's Cath's on the same day.  UUUMMMMM.  I may look calm, but not that calm...Two children under general anesthesia on the same day, I think would be overwhelming.  I respectfully declined.

 This is how we started out the 3 hour drive to the races.  Safe and still in our seats.   Then a little nap....

                                                        .....Then some toys..........

                    Dad's hand is there to make sure he doesn't go over the seat on his face!  He would probably just giggle and laugh about it, but our job is to make sure he stays alive!

                      Here's the two pit mechanics....picking a little dirt off the bike for their brothers.

                                                  A little pat of the butt for good luck!

                        Justin you might want to look into getting a larger bike..........

                Besides little man is getting upset, you're on his bike!

                                                          Gotta love that smile!

Nianjie is the clown in the house.  He is also full of emotions and loves to laugh, and also has lots of deep down hurt that overflows into puddles of tears.  He is a sweetheart down to his soul and I ache for his heart and all those that lived for so many precious formative years in an institution.  Six and half years waiting for a Mom and Dad.  He is needy and loving all in one.  Mature, self sufficient, and helpful, yet throws himself down in a toddler tantrum.  All phases of growing he will pass through while in a structured loving environment.  Yes Nianjie you are SAFE.  So if you see an older child flopped down in a grocery store and think why isn't that parent doing something?  Don't judge, don't offer advice, we're allowing them to grieve, process their pain.   I am not embarrassed by their behavior.  I am proud that they feel comfortable enough with me as their parent to melt down.  They trust that I will not harm, hurt or abandon them.   This child has bore more in six years, all alone, than many of us will ever in a lifetime.  So pray for their healing.  Pray for those children left behind who do not have mothers this Mother's day.  Give thanks to the mother's who choose life for their children and respond with love as God did for us.