Hearts of Adoption: Day 9 Post Op

When you commit to do something, how much are you willing to put into it? Time, money, effort.... If you have ever read the book " Not a fan" by Kyle Idelman you may know where I'm going with this. If you have given your life to the Lord, how much are willing to give up or lose in order to gain a Christ like attitude? This week, well even our whole adoption journey, has brought new meaning to are you truly a follower or just a fan of how Jesus instructed us to live?

We specifically choose a child with a severe heart condition knowing she would need intervention. Oh but that's where the line between our faith and intellectual knowledge cross. I can rattle the structure of her anatomy and how this procedure has improved her heart functioning and stay in a safe place. And then everyone must ask that fatal question. I know they mean no harm...... "She'll be all right now?", or "she won't need any more surgeries?" God is in control. We don't know where she will be in 15-20 years. All we know is that she has a very complicated anatomy and at this point her fontan procedure appears to be doing well, which means providing circulatory function for her heart. We brought her home to be our daughter, part of our family. It has changed how I view and appreciate the small things in life. She is a blessing.

As I sat in the lobby tonight eating pizza with Huahua, who was half asleep in the wagon. I noticed a woman eating alone. Her face became red and she was clearly upset. I asked her to come and join us and reluctantly she did. I told her I was having the same type of day and at least we could just cry together during dinner if anything else. As we talked about our children's diagnosis I noticed her faith necklace draped around her neck. Why does her son have cancer at age 10? Because that seems cruel. And why does my baby have a heart defect? I don't know and won't know; but two woman could sit down and have a good talk/cry and feel comfort in that moment knowing that God is in sovereign. The place God has brought us both tonight hurts, but has purpose. Our children hurt, whether we carried them in our womb or traveled the world to bring home. God placed us on these paths that intersected at the hospital and they will bring Him the Glory.

So that brings me back to the point how much are you willing to put in to be a Christ follower or are you just a fan (as Kyle Idelman says in his book)? This week has challenged me and brought me back to my knees again. We said yes Lord, she will be our child, but as I held her tight in my arms rocking her, she looked so sick again with the tubes, and a part of me just ached thinking she might not be mine forever. That is the part where our hearts need to be completely given to him. For the Lord already knows His plans.