The Power of Words

Words have an incredible ability to lift, crush, support, hurt, love or heal the heart.  Today, as we went to church, love was delivered in an unusual healing manner.   And in the midst of picking up my children from their class, a sweet Chinese woman began admiring my adopted children after recognizing their shared heritage..... tears began to seep down her face.  She hugged me and thanked me dearly for loving them.   I could feel her soul was so touched by our children as she gazed deeply at them playing.   Adoption,  begins with brokenness and pain  ........becomes redeemed because of a great love.  Not our love.....Christ's LOVE.  We are weak and humbled as we raise children.   My only response was that this is what God calls us to and we simply love them.    Her gracious heart and deep gratitude for adoption warmed my soul for adoption should be a natural part of our family as God adopted us into His.   The story God weaves together is beautifully complex.

Then she gave my children the most precious gift,  she (as a Chinese mama herself), with tears streaming down her face) looked at James and said "remember, your Chinese mama always loved you".   He confirmed to him, he was not abandoned, he was LOVED.  He was cherished.  But something, culturally, financially, physically, prevented the birth parents from raising him.   The message was so special I asked her to repeat again so the other two could hear.  Even though adoptive parents can tell our children how loved they are, the gift of her words held a powerful meaning.  They are Chinese and they are Americans and  SO loved by two countries.   I pray they hold this gift dear to their hearts and know they are SO LOVED from the beginning.

OUR HEART TRIO

FAMILY CAMP 2018

Family Camp Fairwood 2018  Rachael was their favorite counselor

Plotting his paintball  moves

Cheering for their brothers in paintball

Justin taking on the world---well at least in paintball.

That smile can get him anything!

Pictures and exciting updates

      There have been multiple times over the past few months when thoughts have flooded my mind and I have wanted to share. Time has not been on my long list of extras lately.  Where to start.... 

Huahua celebrated four years home in December.   The day we received her file (almost 5 years ago), the day we said "Yes", the moment we received travel approval, the moment she was carried around the corner in a stale civil affairs building in Chongqing, China (12/16/13) and was placed in my arms and became my daughter is forever.--these are etched as if it was just yesterday.      

Christmas celebrations among the sneezes, coughs.  vomit & diarrhea. Thankful we live in a country we have access  medicine, vaccinations, exceptional health care all at the tip of our fingertips.  Next time you wait in a Drs waiting room start to get a little annoyed with the wait, remember there are mamas who walk miles, even days for their children to get a medicine so their child does not die of diarrhea.   Remember health care in some countries is a privilege, not a right.  And parents are left only to abandon their children out of helplessness.   AN ABSOLUTE TRAGEDY.*

Perspective and thankfulness. 
I am humbled and will never take for granted these smiles.  I know there is a pile of tears behind them.  Adoption is always born out of loss, and we are only part of the solution.  We turn to our savior for the ultimate HOPE as we walk this path in healing the broken hearts.

Thankful for the Specialty & Clinics that serve our children
Cardiology, Pulmonology, Orthopedics, ENT, Psychology, OT/PT, Speech Therapy, , Plastic surgery,  General surgery, Urology, Ophthalmology, Nutrition, Neurology, Genetics, Orthodontist & the primary Dr who has the unfortunate job of keeping tabs on all of these!

We had special visitors over Christmas from Florida and the kids enjoyed the snow before James headed into surgery January 2 for his tibia rotations and a little finger work.  He was a real trooper with three casts on.  The final casts will come off March 15.  RESILIENCY! 

Some of our most amazing work is being done with some new therapists weekly.

We are so excited with the understanding of how their little bodies are processing information, through senses, emotionally, socially and how this all is affecting behavior academically and relationally within our family.  Most importantly, Ryan and I are also being equipped with skills to better parent their complex needs.  

Smiles may look like smiles at first glance, but sometimes they are something else to a child with  history of trauma.   We want to uncover who these children truly are and let them live in freedom and without fear.   Thankful for the resources in our community.

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                                                 Joseph giving me his proud smile!

                                 Placing the angel on the tree.  It took a few attempts for this guy!

He might be the cutest little man in uniform ever!

Jackson takes pleasure in giving me the most  goofy pictures right now.....hoping this phase passes soon.

Roller skating with the Adoption Resource Group.  FUN FOR ALL.  Wen xiang decided he could push James around.  One of these two was a bit worried...I'll let you decide.....

Some exciting news....sorry no new Oehlhofs arriving soon......but we have been given some great opportunities to share our story

The kids thought the cameras & equipment was the most fascinating.......

Thursday, March 8, NBC will be airing a special during the 10 pm news about Joseph's special heart and how AFCH used a 3D model to prepare for his surgery (Sept 29, 2015).  Joseph's heart and anatomy (situs inversus) is so unique that having this incredible technology gave Dr A the proper tools for a successful surgery.  It seems like years ago, but essentially it was a surgical decision that changed his life forever.   HEART WARRIOR!

  Jordan & Huahua faithfully watching over Joseph (Sept 2015)

 And then this week, we had a second opportunity to share our story!!!  WOW! A documentary film crew (FreeThink) came from Washington DC to profile the maker of this 3D technology here at the UW.  They spent the day with our family filming and interviewing around the house. So cool to be part of an ever changing world that may save so many children with CHD.  What an opportunity to share the reasons why we do what we do.....  our family plays only a small part of this, but such an experience to share...

           1. Every child deserves a home.
           2. Every child deserves to be loved by a family.
           3. Every child deserves a fighting chance with medical care.

Ultimately we are serving where God called us to be.  Is it easy? NOPE!  I am asked again and again, am I tired....YEP! Exhausted!   But I am also humbled to me knees and know there are children going to sleep without a hug, without a mama, and dying without a mama beside them.  No, I will never save the world.  God sent his Son, Jesus, to do that, and in that he instructs us to serve HIM and care for those who need a mama to bravely carry them into surgery, hold their hand and smile when they wake up, tell them it will be okay, and wipe their tears when it hurts too much. 
                     

FOR ALL THE CHD WARRIORS THAT LOST THEIR BATTLES TOO EARLY, WE FIGHT FOR YOU!  AND WE STAND WITH HOPE, LOVE, FAITH AND COURAGE!


*Go to Love Without Boundaries unity initiative program where they assist birth families with medical care to preserve the family unit.  In 2017 they provided help to 41 families in rural China, so that those children would remain with their birth parents!  39 of those surgeries were life saving heart surgeries (see LWB website)   https://www.lovewithoutboundaries.com
Click on Medical

Thankfulness

Five years ago our family looked much different.  Somewhat stressed after a year of medical trials and multiple surgeries,  but thankful for a successful lengthening of Jackson's femur.  Thankful for our church community, family and friends that held us together during the hard.  Thankful for our access to cutting edge medical procedures that take life altering congenital diagnosis and make them manageable nuances.   We thought it was the end of our trials.....we later would learn it was only the beginning.

At the same time......Five years ago in a large orphanage in China sat a little girl with a broken little heart dying. Her lips purple, her fingertips curled over from lack of oxygen.  She was losing her fight to untreated congenital heart disease....

"Tessa" (about 1 year)

"Tessa" (about 18 months)

But someone had fallen in love and God planted it in her heart to fight for this little girl.  Aunt Katie, (holding her in the black and white photo above) had already started into process a massive fundraiser to save this purple princess.  Love without Boundaries partnered with her fundraising efforts and Tessa (later Selah) would have her first heart surgery at 21 months old.  A living miracle to survive without cardiac intervention for that long!  A few months later....our family would be called to adoption and this little girl's file would now be prepared.  Never would we have thought HEART kiddos would be our calling, but again, "Seek HIS will".  Side note....We thought orthopedic would be easier  :)  We had experience in that!

"Tessa" (about 2 years)

Speaking of ortho needs....  This picture is from a video we received of Huahua......Do you recognize a little boy in the background?  That's James!   

I could go on and on about the blessings and  miracles.....writing this is good for me to remember how fortunate we are.  God has been in the details, weaving things together, even when we feel so alone.  Large families are different...Maybe distinguished is a better word.... Maybe just plain determined for many reasons!  Determined to fight for injustices, share the good things and spread a little love.  But sometimes that means not fitting in, by all means, our mini bus does NOT fit in! Like the movie Wonder says "why fit in, when you were made to stand out?" 

Fast forward five years......

Our house exploded!   Mostly with boys and one more sweet girl.

The first three have grown and matured in ways that could have never happened had we not (i mean) had God not chosen this path for our family. 

Most days are chaos, trying to find the other glove or shoe, getting the right shirt, pants, hat on the right child,  shifting through poop to find the coin someone swallowed, getting the toddler down from....WHERE?!?!?!?!   But we need to step back and see the big picture.  We have so much to be thankful for among the chaos filled days.   How were we chosen to be these children's parents and forever family?

This season has been rough, with challenging behavior, medical appointments/testing, and family stress.  We will not focus on the day to day rough moments, rather step back and be thankful for the wholeness of our family.  For I know across an ocean there are parents who ultimately gave their hearts away the moment they sat their sweet babes on a cold, dark, sidewalk.....and walked away....simply in hope of saving their children.  So in those moments of rough, our Hope needs to fall on the one who gives us the ultimate Hope in time of need.

Recently I had a good friend remind me our blessings, as we shared in our celebration of Wen Xiang's third birthday.   This friend has been one of the greatest examples living faith during trials.

We never know how God is going to use us or what he is going to ask of us.  This year has been extra special, as this friend and her family has finally welcomed home her son after waiting 4 long years.  Yes she has watched, and faithfully walked with us, as we have brought home four children---all while her son was waiting red tape to be cleared.  We sing praises together!!! And some good backyard football!  It's been magical to see God working the blending of them together!

 
               JORDAN                                               JACOB WEN XIANG

           
                      JUSTIN                                                              JESSICA

JOSEPH

JAMES

JACKSON

            This was Joseph and Jessica's "wedding".   Even though they were just the flower girl and ring bearer....they made it their own!  Joseph feels like he won the lottery!!!

NINE!!!! Can it really be?

                                                     

Jackson tearing it up!

Joseph is officially six and working his way into the construction industry!

                                                                   One year HOME!!!

Nine years old.   WOW!!!

Justin taking a few laps in the back yard.  On the bike equals his happy place!

Jessica (Tessa five years later)

Thankful we said yes.... and followed the path of HIS WILL..... thankful for what our growing family & adoption teaches us about ourselves and the faithfulness of our GOD.